Hoot & Blat White Squall News

Tim’s Tip #1
Well, this is actually Miranda’s tip-and is all about not using your car rack for boat storage. We see a lot of people leave their boat on longer than necessary, and the result is it puts a lot of stress on the hull. Get it off as soon as you can and you’ll avoid some ugly dents in your pride and joy.

Tip #2
Sunner intoxication without alcohol! (Doesn’t sound like much fun does it?) Sometimes we overhydrate in the summer heat, trying to cool ourselves. Trouble is, the water sits in the stomach and can’t be processed quickly enough. Result - we get nauseous, and to add insult - the water does little to cool your core. So….do keep hydrated moderately, but equally important is to cool your core externally by stopping what you’re doing, get out of the sun and applying a cool,wet cloth to your skin. Or better yet - go for a swim and then find a good book in the shade.

Tim’s Tips

Tip #1 (actually this is Cathy Crawley’s tip)

Pack an umbrella while packing for your next trip. Sure an umbrella is great for rainy days, however it can be used for a wind screen for a stove, a sun shade, a kayak sail, and keeps you dry in the middle of a rainy night, when you go out for a pee (and you be bothered with putting on your raincoat or even your clothes for that matter!)

Tip #2 (actually this is Chris King’s tip)

“Remember while paddling - It’s not all about power….. it’s about applying good technique!”

The Raccoon has evolved! Researchers at the Cole Lake Institute for Lower Learning report that the Franklin Island coon (a distinct subspecies called coonus smarterthanusus) has figured out how to pry off just about any kayak hatch you can name. There is no hope, all you can do is to listen to me -and if that doesn’t work, please send money anyway.

Tim’s Multiple Coon Tips (yer gittin yer money’s worth this month, let me tell you)

Tip #1
Camp where there are no coons. This will require a special “Coon Seeker” sold exclusively at White Squall for $395.

Tip #2
Don’t leave anything remotely smelly in cockpit/pfd (that includes your stinky neoprene socks, though why a coon would be interested in them is beyond me)

Tip #3
Where possible, use a bulkheaded area that has a hardshell hatch. Strap and rope it down with everything you’ve got, and top it off with pots and pans so you can hear the “Break & Entering”  going down and arrest them for unlawful entry.

Tip #4
Use hermetically sealed containers with combination locks and as soon as you’ve memorized the combo, eat the piece of paper so the coons can’t read it!

Tip #5
Consider donating to RWB (Raccoons Without Borders) and they may cut you some slack

Tip #6
Hang your food. I know what you’re thinking - “trees? trees? there ain’t no stinkin’ trees!”

Tip #7
Okay, so don’t hang your food!

Tip #8
Put your food in a designated kayak (preferably not yours) and anchor it offshore. Take into account the concept of swimming coons, rogue waves and anchors that let go in the middle of the night.

Tip #9
Just bring beer and forget the food.

Tip #10
Purchase these ten tips printed on recycled paper for $29.95 and we’ll throw in a bear bell for no extra charge. You can tie this on to a stick near your campsite and ring it upon arrival. This will notify the coons that you’re here.

If you are still reading this, go get raided by coons, it’s not quite so bad.

Peace Out…tim

We lost a dear friend Willie P. Bennett a short while ago. Many of you would remember him backing up Fred Eaglsmith at our spring gatherings and know what an incredible talent and special man he was. Willie was a legend in Canadian music and we were so very lucky to know him.

Meteorites and Kite Skiing
Big news around here this past week was a meteorite falling out of the sky west of the Limestone Islands. CBC phoned asking if we had a run on snowshoe rentals from folks trying to find pieces of it. I wanted to cook up a story for them about gangs of Parry Sounders running out over ten miles of the Bay icepack with their trusty snow shoes, but apart from the odd sled roaring out and quickly turning back part way, I think that was all the rise mr. meteorite got out of us. Talk at Horton’s was mostly round how hot space rocks melt into ice really quick huh? One of our friends did try to kite-ski out, but got turned back by bad ice. So….a bit of space history is lodged firmly out there in the big beyond. Speaking of being out of this world, the skiing on the Bay has been unbelievable these past few weeks. You can glide forever - and ever and ever. Read more about the meteor over Georgian Bay…
Tim’s Tips # 1
We’re coming into the early paddling season where the water is still icy cold. If someone suddenly dumps in cold water, one of the things you have to watch and treat for is Cold Shock. This involuntary inhalation of water into the lungs is not always easy to detect - and it can happen in conjunction with a severe cardiac and pulmonary response. So…treat every cold water dump as potentially serious and do yourself a favour - read the best article I’ve ever seen on this topic in the February 08 edition of Sea Kayaker magazine.

Tip #2
Before I zip up my map case for a trip, besides a compass, I always throw in a sheet or two of paper and a pencil. The pencil is kinda obvious, and sure-the paper is to write upon – BUT – the edge is also a really simple way to draw a straight line if ya don’t have a ruler-and by pencilling on the edge your start and endpoints-you can transfer that down to the map scale and measure out distance travelled really quick. You can also use that edge to walk a track or travel line over to a compass rose on a marine chart. So….we don’t need no stinkin’ dividers or parallel rulers eh?

Tim’s Tips # 1 - Crummy Resumes

-nothing to do with paddling, but what the heck - we get many resumes coming across out desk, and i’m floored by the number that are not well written. Actually, they are really bad. Somehow this urban myth has arisen that they should be brief - to the point of excluding interesting things that make that person and their story unique. So….to all you resume writers out there, say if you used to be a bouncer-tell us that you volunteered for the Hooterville ladies auxilary bake sales for 5 years
and don’t leave out that you won the 1995 Miss Catfish Creek Conservation Award. These are the things that will get you a job - not some blather about wanting to “work as a team member in a challenging outdoor environment” That’s just corporate-speak and won’t help in getting a job here. Maybe we’re a bit different ( some would say off the wall) , but my
guess is that other employers also want to see creative, unique applications.

Tip #2 - Funny Compass

-this tip is all about checking your gear. we just came back from the wilds of Algoma, winter camping and back-country skiing. Had a great time but truth be told, we kinda got lost in the middle of nowhere…..and when we checked our compass, the silly thing had 400 degrees instead of your basic 360 ( go figger) We still don’t know what kind of compass it is
(anybody out there have an idea?) but I do know that it does throw you off a wee bit, which isn’t too healthy in a nondescript bush. Lesson? Check your gear-dunno how many times I’ve said that, but it’s time I listened to myself!!

( we’ve since found out since via several email replies to our newsletter - the 400 measurement is in Grads / or mils. A military measure used mainly in the past and still a bit now in Europe)